This is not your Mama’s bread…


We are heading back to the insanity of the misunderstood Old Testament today in our latest venture down the rabbit hole of religion and everything that needs to be unpacked therein.

In this specific story, Ezekiel is given the task of planning out the siege of Jerusalem. But to do this he needs God’s help, just like you and I do. Unfortunately for Ezekiel, God has a few diabolical, unhinged and disturbing requirements for him to complete in order to gain his help.


Number one, Zeke needs to take a tile and paint the city of Jerusalem on it, and then set on a miniature scale the instruments of siege and war. So in essence, a mini-battle scene.

Ezekiel 4 1-2

4 Thou also, son of man, take thee a tile, and lay it before thee, and pourtray upon it the city, even Jerusalem:

2 And lay siege against it, and build a fort against it, and cast a mount against it; set the camp also against it, and set battering rams against it round about.

Next, he needs to set an iron pan between himself and the miniature version of Jerusalem.

Ezekiel 4-3

3 Moreover take thou unto thee an iron pan, and set it for a wall of iron between thee and the city: and set thy face against it, and it shall be besieged, and thou shalt lay siege against it. This shall be a sign to the house of Israel.

Afterward, Zeke needs to lay on his left side for 390 days. Just a year and a month, no big deal.

Ezekiel 4 4-5
4 Lie thou also upon thy left side, and lay the iniquity of the house of Israel upon it: according to the number of the days that thou shalt lie upon it thou shalt bear their iniquity.
5 For I have laid upon thee the years of their iniquity, according to the number of the days, three hundred and ninety days: so shalt thou bear the iniquity of the house of Israel.

Next, he has to lay on his right side for 40 days.

Ezekiel 4-6

6 And when thou hast accomplished them, lie again on thy right side, and thou shalt bear the iniquity of the house of Judah forty days: I have appointed thee each day for a year.

Those requirements are strange, yes. But the most bizarre stipulation is that Zeke eats bread that was made using a fire that was only fueled by human caca. That’s right, people poo. Homoturdicus, if you want to use my invented scientific name for it.

Ezekiel 4-12

12 And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man, in their sight.


Luckily for Zeke, God, secretly laughing to himself, showed his famous mercy on the poor fellow and allowed him to use cow patties instead. Whew, disaster averted!

Ezekiel 4-15

15 Then he said unto me, Lo, I have given thee cow’s dung for man’s dung, and thou shalt prepare thy bread therewith.

So, what does all of that really mean? This is a combination of esoterics and astrotheology, which becomes clear once it is explained.

Here is the breakdown:

First, let’s breakdown the tile that Zeke used to paint the city on.

The tile symbolizes the difficulties caused by the hampering of the five senses that get in the way of the person who is trying to gain a realization of inner peace. In other words, earth (earth, water, air and fire – lowest to highest) consciousness, the lowest stage of human consciousness. Remember, the kingdom is within you (Luke 17-21/Jerusalem/City of Peace), and it can only be accessed by meditation, which elevates your consciousness above the five senses.

Next, we have the miniature battle scene that represents a siege of Jerusalem. The inner kingdom, not a literal city, cannot be taken by force.

Matthew 11:12

12 And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force.

Next, Zeke has to use an iron pan to set between himself and the city, which represents the impenetrability of the sense consciousness, into which an understanding of spiritual truth cannot enter. A strong barrier between you and your inner Jerusalem, the city of peace. Your stubborn strong will that keeps you dwelling in the five senses, the physical or materialism.

Remember the reference to Zeke lying on his left side for 390 days? What that means is the negative aspect of the number ’12’. Everything in any religious text is subject to duality, and this is no different.

Zeke was instructed to lay on his “left side”. The left is associated with the material, physical, lower emotional nature of life. The “right side” is associated with your higher spiritual nature. The number of days is 390. Add them up and come to the number “12”. In this instance, since we have the reference to the “left side”, this is the negative aspect of the number “12”, which is destruction.

Next, Zeke has to lay on his right side for 40 days. In esoterics, the number 40 means a complete but indefinite period of time that pertains to the evolution of the soul.

See the following quote for the astrotheological interpretation of the number “40”.

“the number “40” symbolically and allegorically relates to the interval of the Sun in between the Equinoxes, and the Sun’s tangible effect upon the climate of our planet during that time frame. The Biblical writers may use weeks, hours, years or days, depending on the context of the fable to make it work out, but in there it is. This interval is always associated with some kind of struggle, deprivation, trial or test. The reason for the struggle is because of the difficulty the Sun has in vanquishing the cold of the winter. After six months of being below the equator, the Sun is now in position, when it reaches the Vernal Equinox on March 21st, to restore warmth and moisture to the northern regions. But the victory of the warmth over the cold is not immediate. But rather a tug of war, back and forth, between the forces of light (warmth, salvation, reward and blessings) and darkness (cold, tempting devil, Satan). But after forty days (May Day) you can rest assured that the frost won’t ruin your crops. The Sun is now victorious and free from the tempting, tugging devil of winter.”

Credit: Malik Jabbar, author of “The Astrological Foundation of the Christ Myth”

Jerusalem, in astrotheology, is the Summer Solstice. The reference to the 40 days is a reference to the weakening of the sun as it moves past this point in the season. Jerusalem (the Summer Solstice/Sun) will be assaulted and conquered by the coming cold of winter (Ezekiel’s army).

Anyway, it has nothing to do with bread cooked over a fire of crap. It’s symbolic, not literal.

I hope you enjoyed that one. See you in the next article!

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